Man running on beach

Individuals have their own unique pattern of relating. This pattern of relating is developed over a lifetime for adaptation in order to survive. It begins in the family of origin, then later, in the larger world outside the family. Sometimes the tools learned and used to survive in earlier stages of development may no longer be effective. In fact, the same skills used to survive in the past may today cause psychological symptoms such as depression, anxiety, fears and relationship issues. The main goal of Crystal and Associates is to learn new, more productive, meaningful, fulfilling and symptom-free ways of relating.

The phenomenon of falling in love paints a vivid example of how we can begin to distort others early in relationships. These distortions are based upon our own particular needs and how we interpret others through our lens of experiences. The process of experiencing distortion and later attempts to break through to a realistic view of each other is part of all human dynamic. In addition, it is always the unresolved distortions and conflicts in human relationships that in the end bring people into psychotherapy.

You may or may not be at a critical juncture in your relationship, but you do realize that it is time for another perspective that is unbiased. You and your significant other may be at a juncture deciding whether to invest the time and energy into breaking through the distortions accumulated over time and truly discover the other more fully. Perhaps inwardly, you may be wondering if to go your separate unhappy ways and fantasize if the grass might be in full-Technicolor-lush green, elsewhere. There are many junctures at which couples therapy can help. Couples therapy includes Premarital Counseling, Newly Married and Wondering, "What have I done to myself?" Midlife Crisis, Surviving an Affair, Finding Meaning with my Spouse While Experiencing an Empty Nest, Finding Enrichment or most importantly: Deepening Your Current Relationship.

It is natural that family members are intensely connected emotionally. Even so, individuals may feel distant or disconnected from their families. Why is it that the very people we love and that love us are the hardest people to communicate with? A lot of times issues arise through emotional reactions to the others reaction(s) to us. These originate from faulty interpretations of each other and then we inadvertently reinforce them. This pattern of family dynamic creates a blueprint in our psyches that we conclude, This is the way life will always be, why bother?

These internal faulty conclusions are being written from the inside out from the experiences based upon how we perceive our outer world. Thus, beliefs and attitudes about others are formed and then are held on-to tightly. Because we have formed a conclusion in our own mind, we do not realize that we are looking at life through a distortion (like looking through a pair of sunglasses that we forgot we had on) based upon our emotional pain. Without working through these distortions they are carried from our families of origin and then passed on to the next generation.

Constantly, consciously and unconsciously, individuals solicit each others attention, approval, and support and then become disappointed when the family member does not deliver as expected or needed. There is a domino-effect in the system that self-perpetuates; one or more members feel overwhelmed, isolated, out of control thus impacting the other. With sensitivity Crystal and Associates embrace a Family Systems Approach in confronting the complex interactions in the unit, together the family can begin to experience each other differently as one slight change in the system will begin to impact the whole.






O For The Soul Crystal